Power Vs Love
Over the last forty years, the Western church has largely embraced a model of leadership rooted not in Scripture but in twentieth-century business ideology. While some aspects of this approach reflect Solomon-like wisdom and have produced good fruit, others might provoke Jesus to start flipping tables. In most cases, I don’t believe the intentions are evil. More often, well-meaning people are simply doing their best with the tools they’ve been given—pursuing best practices in leadership without fully examining the underlying paradigm.
In Luke 22, Jesus lifts the hood and gives us a glimpse into the engine of leadership in the Kingdom. He explains that, in the world, those in authority obsess over appearances and exercise power oppressively under the guise of serving the greater good. But then He makes a stunning distinction: “This is not your calling.” Instead, Kingdom leadership follows a different model—one where the greatest are called to serve without seeking honor, and where the highest authority is reserved for those with a servant’s heart.
This leadership summit in Luke 22 happens at the same gathering where Jesus washes the disciples’ feet. In John 13, it says, “Jesus was fully aware that the Father had placed all things under His control… so He got up from the meal, took off His outer robe, wrapped a towel around His waist… and began to wash His disciples’ dirty feet.”
Did you catch that? Jesus knew He had all authority—and His response was to serve. This is a paradigm shift in leadership, authority, and privilege. With this act, Jesus demonstrated with as much force as any of His miracles that Kingdom leadership isn’t about you. It’s not about your comfort, status, or self-importance. Leadership and authority in the Kingdom exist for one purpose: to serve Jesus and others well.
Two Competing Leadership Paradigms: Power vs. Love
I’d like to suggest that there are two competing paradigms of leadership and authority:
1. The Power Paradigm – Leadership rooted in self-interest and fear. It’s about exerting control, pushing your own agenda, and using people as a means to an end.
2. The Love Paradigm – Leadership rooted in service. It uses authority for the glory of God and the good of others, operating through cooperation instead of coercion. It isn’t concerned with status but sees influence as an opportunity to love and serve.
I believe this Love Paradigm—what a business leader friend of mine calls the cooperative paradigm—is the engine of Kingdom leadership. It’s the key to creating a healthy organizational culture, drawing out the hidden strengths of others, and inviting people to step into their Kingdom calling. Sadly, many churches never fully enter the Kingdom realm because they refuse to exchange the Power Paradigm for the Love Paradigm.
My Wrestling Match with the Love Paradigm
My struggle with the Love Paradigm has been tied to a performance mindset. I’m wired as a visionary—I love to move fast. I also have a history of wanting to prove my value through what I do. But the problem with the Love Paradigm is that it moves at the speed of family.
To lead from love, I’ve had to lay down my ambition for the sake of those who have entrusted me with influence in their lives. An African proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” I’ve had to surrender speed for the sake of depth and distance—and it has been absolutely worth it. The fruit has been deeply meaningful relationships, seeing others step into their calling, and experiencing God’s transformative work in my own life. I was made for this—and so were you.
In this process, God has confronted me with another challenge: Do I trust Him with my future and calling? I’ve sensed Him saying, “If you will trust Me and surrender your call in order to promote those around you, I will take care of you.” At the core of this shift—like nearly everything in the Kingdom—is faith. Will I lay down my rights and privileges in faith, trusting God and those He’s placed around me?
Laying Down the Tools of the Power Paradigm
When you reject the Power Paradigm, you must surrender some of the most “effective” tools of leadership—control, manipulation, fear, and shame. Unfortunately, many churches, families, and organizations are built on these very tools. And while they may seem effective in the short term, given enough time they always lead to abuse and destruction.
Instead, Kingdom leadership champions choice, personal freedom, and responsibility. It speaks to the heart of people, trusting them to respond rightly rather than forcing compliance. This shift is terrifying, but in the end, it’s the only way to co-labor with Jesus in building churches, families, and organizations that truly reflect the Kingdom and are built to last.
This doesn’t mean leadership is passive. There are times when leaders must be firm and direct, hold people accountable, or make unpopular decisions. To lead in the Kingdom, you must surrender your desire to be liked. But it does mean that discipline should never be about punishment—it should always be about the future and well-being of those entrusted to your leadership, even when the optics are messy.
Churchianity vs. Kingdom
I firmly believe that church leaders face two competing realities: Churchianity vs. Kingdom.
Some things only work within the walls of the church, but if something is truly Kingdom, it is woven into the very fabric of creation—it will work anywhere, with anyone. The Love Paradigm isn’t just a nice church principle. It’s a powerful Kingdom reality that produces lasting fruit in any context—church, business, family, or beyond.
Questions for Reflection
• What challenges you most about operating from a Love Paradigm?
• When have you seen the Power Paradigm at work? What was the long-term fruit?
• When have you seen the Love Paradigm at work? What was the long-term fruit?
• What might you need to surrender in order to live and lead in a Love Paradigm?
• How can you operate in a Love Paradigm when serving under leaders who operate in a Power Paradigm?
