YOu Can’t Afford to Be Insecure
A Call That Changed Everything
The phone rang in my truck as I cruised down the neighborhood road on my way to pick up my firstborn daughter from first grade. As I glanced at my phone, I saw the name on the screen — Charlie Coker.
Anticipation built as I answered. For a season, it seemed like heaven had given Charlie the inside scoop on my life. Several times before, he had called at just the right moment with just the right word of encouragement or insight.
I picked up with a cheerful, “Hey, Charlie!”
His immediate response was a phrase that still rings in my heart:
“Joel, you can’t afford to be insecure.”
Something shifted in me the moment I heard those words.
“No kidding, Charlie!” I laughed. “But how do I do that?”
Honestly, I don’t remember the rest of the conversation, but those six simple words — “You can’t afford to be insecure” — have echoed in my soul ever since.
When Words Carry Power
Those words carried prophetic weight. Sometimes God speaks through people in a way that bypasses reason and pierces the heart. Words in moments like that aren’t just information — they’re revelation and power. They come loaded with the potential to accomplish what they declare.
To many, that phrase might sound harsh or even insensitive. But to me, it felt like permission — permission I had waited my whole life to hear. It presented an option I didn’t know I had.
At the same time, it exposed a thief I hadn’t fully recognized. For years, insecurity had been quietly robbing me — stealing confidence, peace, creativity, and courage. It had kept me small while I called it “humility;” It kept me “people-pleasing” while I called it love.
The Ruthless Elimination of Insecurity
A few years ago, John Mark Comer wrote what has become a modern classic: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I’d like to suggest that, along with eliminating hurry, we also need to pursue the ruthless elimination of insecurity.
Insecurity is a thief. It attempts to steal our peace, our joy, our passion, and our destiny.
It whispers things like:
“You don’t belong in the room.”
“You don’t have anything to offer.”
“You should just stay quiet.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“You can’t do that.”
Insecurity twists our perception of reality. It makes us doubt what God has said and who He has called us to be. It shows up in different forms — comparison, people-pleasing, perfectionism, defensiveness, and fear of failure. It causes us to self-protect with behaviors like striving, sarcasm, controlling, story-topping and timidity — and that’s just my personal list. But it’s all the same thief wearing different masks.
Insecurity Is Not Your Identity
Insecurity isn’t the boogeyman, it isn’t your identity, and it’s not an unsolvable problem. It’s the evidence of a stronghold — a house of thought built on lies, laced with fear. Some insecurities come from hurts and trauma, while others we inherit as was of relating and responding from our families and culture.
What Charlie’s words did for me was convince me that my insecurity wasn’t hardwired. It wasn’t my personality. And it wasn’t my destiny. Simply put those six words meant that I didn’t have to be insecure.
The Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10 that we demolish strongholds by “taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ.”
That means we pay attention to our thinking.
Many of us fail to realize that we’re meant to lead our thoughts, not be led by them. We must identify the lies we’re believing and ask where they came from.
When Adam and Eve ate the fruit and hid in shame, God’s question to them was, “Who told you that?”
That’s a question worth asking ourselves:
Who told you that you’re not enough?
Who told you your voice doesn’t matter?
Who told you you’re disqualified?
When we trace the lie back to its source, we make room for truth to take its place.
The Truth That Sets You Free
Jesus said in John 8:32, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Truth isn’t just a concept — it’s a person.
Truth is Jesus.
When we meet Jesus in the places of our pain and insecurity, He doesn’t just tell us to stop being afraid. He speaks identity, heals the wound, and restores the confidence that comes from being loved.
You can’t afford to be insecure — not because God will reject you if you are, but because you were made for more.
You were created to live free, confident, and secure in His love.
A Final Word
So I want to say to you, as Charlie once said to me:
“You can’t afford to be insecure.”
Let those six words be an invitation into the ruthless elimination of insecurity. Even more, let them begin a journey into discovering the perfect love that drives out all fear.
Reflection
Where has insecurity been stealing from your calling?
What lie have you been believing about who you are?
What truth does Jesus want to speak into that place today?
